does horse shit matter?

i sometimes think that i am worth nothing and that everything i have ever done or experienced has conspired to put me in a place where i don't matter. this is very obviously utter horse shit, because for all intensive purposes there is no such place on earth. we all matter whether we like it or not.

you could be famous or just infamous. you could be the bubblegum on the underside of somebody's patent leather shoe, yet you matter in ways you can never even imagine. everybody has or had a mother and father and even if they both hotly hate you - you still matter seeing as there would just be no response at all if you didn't. you are still somebody that changed your parents forever either for the good or the bad.....

the point is that you might be walking down the street, pissed off at the guy who is hounding you back at your office for a report of something that is essential to his corporate survival and wrapped up in your own little world, you don't think twice about the guy asking you for your help or trying to make and honest buck for his family. before he gets a chance to even approach you, he's rebuffed by your force field back into the mass of peopledom everywhere, while you go on with your not so merry life not even noticing that you could have changed his life forever.

we tend to think - screw it - i don't owe anybody anything - and essentially we are right, but maybe by being the 100th asshole to say "fuck off" you might just be the one to send a person over the edge. you might just be the one to make a person walk in front of a bus without ever knowing that had you just smiled and said "no thanks" you could have saved a life. this is obviously an extreme example, but it can be diluted into every aspect and facet of life.

don't get me wrong - i'm not saying we are responsible for the actions of others, but we do definitely contribute our way of thinking by the actions that we take against others and if enough sand is blown over an object at a hard enough rate it will eventually mold that object into something different, even destroy it in the long run....

so i say horse shit to thinking we don't matter, because we do. all of us matter regardless of the scale or place or time. whether we matter more positively or negatively is entirely up to us - but be assured you matter, as do i as does the guy begging on the street. life's just too grand for us not to :)