the past few weeks have been strange...
a soulful reunion brought about by the confessions of love by two of my dearest friends have had me floored. this event which felt like such a long time away is over. it is the day after everything that i've been looking forward to for months has come to pass, and i find myself reeling from the finality of it.

maybe its a sense of entitlement, but i thought i would get to spend more quality time with those that had jumped on a plane from somewhere distant. thought that i could discuss with them the things that only they know. thought that i would be more brave and open when i had the chance.

i've made these mistakes before. worrying too much about the outcome in the long run without realising that this is it. this is the moment where you should be happy. this is the second that is real and none of your fears for the future can be valid here, because right now you are here and you are fine.

in so many ways i had looked forward to these past two weeks. two of my best friends who both live on other shores came to visit south africa to attend the spectacular wedding of two of my other best friends. these two people know my soul. they inspire me to be daring and different. i love them and i miss them already even if its only been a day.

the truth is i envy them a bit. they are away on an adventure, am sometimes i forget that my life is one too. i think i'm addicted to adventure. it doesn't really matter in which form, as long as there is always something exciting on the horizon.

i don't really know what this post is about, but in a strange way i feel empty. drained of some of my energy by these two amazing souls, yet replenished by the thought of them. my love for them and everything they stand for. to me it seems i pale in comparison, yet they see something in me that makes them love me. i wish i could keep them forever.